Midlife Crisis: Am I Slowly Becoming Addicted To Alcohol

I never realised that alcohol can be this enjoyable, all my life I’ve always detested ppl that drink, whenever the topic comes up I always remember a certain wealthy man when I was younger, even with all his wealth he would drink himself to stupor every night and vomit, his driver would have to carry him, it was a very bad experience as neighbours to witness those nights especially as a young boy. So I concluded that drinking is unacceptable and I grew up with that ideology, not until recently I’ve started having a rethink over jamb cbt expo.

For sometime now, especially couple of weeks ago leading to last Saturday’s election, I’ve been having a difficult time, I feel like I’m drowning sometimes, maybe it’s midlife’s crisis I don’t know, I don’t know how that feels but what I know is that I was gifted a bottle of expensive vodka last week and I accepted knowing fully well what I was getting into, I knew I was going to step into another phase in my life, I could have sold the drink but no, I kept it.

Like I said already, it’s been rough with me lately, the current cash crunch in the country isn’t helping, the last strew came when last Saturday’s election was announced by 4am, I was awake watching, it struck me like a bolt of lighting, I felt speechless physically but this deep hurt like my soul was groaning. Fast forward to date, I’ve consumed a couple of bottles like bloody mary, VSOP and other spirits which I mix in chilled soft drinks. I so much enjoy this new habit, I can never drink to stupor, I just lock up myself in my lounge, play some music and sip away or lock myself in my car at night and sip with music, I stop when I start feeling a bit sleepy, I just sleep quietly and peacefully. My wife just smells the stuff on me but hasn’t said anything, as I still talk reasonably and even engage her with more humor in those hours, I’ve also noticed that the house is stress-free, no arguments or hard conversations when I consume too waec expo 2023.

Here’s my problem guys, deep inside me I know I’m doing something wrong, which is why I’m posting this anyway, even though I feel peaceful when I consume. I wasn’t raised this way, my father was never an alcohol person. I feel something is wrong and somehow I feel like I’m drowning and need help (laughs). I don’t know if this will get worse overtime or if I might be tempted to do more than this in future. I know I can never do drugs, smoke etc but this highness things is eating me, I just finished the last bottle of Strumbras spirit now which I shared with a visitor, I now think it’s even more pleasurable sharing a drink with someone. I’ve ran out of bottles now and I’m considering restocking but I’m led by the spirit to post this, I don’t want preaching, I just want to read other ppl’s comment and experience and how they navigated this phase of life (midlife crisis), preferably elders in the house if any, if you’re 40 and below and have no useful contribution pls don’t comment. I need this to get to FP.